Instead, the disgusting tramp of a man was only able to consume a whole 7 of the burgers before his stomach gave way and he was forced to ship the rest of them to his top secret Threecock Christmas Facilities for quality assessment.

It was these meals that prevented the dreaded Hamburglar from eating everything in the back of the truck, his gristly whiskers lapping up the meat with fevered relish. The burger was transported cross-country with 48 (respectably delicious) dummy-meals for protection. Christmas would take on a whole new meaning, and this time there would be no mistakes. Together, they would drive the Yeoman Engineers of Software and Design into a golden age of quality dining and unencumbered festivity.

The chief engineer-turned-overlord of foodstuffs, Percival Mechacook, deemed it necessary to awaken Shaitoken from his long winter's slumber to celebrate this yuletide achievement. Finally, the long summer's study in Aberdonian cuisine and bovine mating rituals had yielded of a supple, juicy tower clad with buns too good to slap and the fattest sow the YEDS had ever sewn.

32in24-14: How the Hamburglar Stole Christmas

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